Victorian Mourning Rituals
What is mourning?
For our purposes, mourning is a set of criteria in which the family and friends of a deceased person is expected to adhere to honor the deceased's memory. Women may be expected to show more dramatic outward signs of mourning in order to grieve on the behalf of the rest of the family or community, especially in societies where it is unacceptable for men to express their emotions. Rules exist in most (if not all) cultures and may change with time. We will be focusing on Western conventions during the reign of Queen Victoria (1837-1901) and the period before World War I.
What is mourning?
For our purposes, mourning is a set of criteria in which the family and friends of a deceased person is expected to adhere to honor the deceased's memory. Women may be expected to show more dramatic outward signs of mourning in order to grieve on the behalf of the rest of the family or community, especially in societies where it is unacceptable for men to express their emotions. Rules exist in most (if not all) cultures and may change with time. We will be focusing on Western conventions during the reign of Queen Victoria (1837-1901) and the period before World War I.
Mourning before the Victorian era
To keep this from becoming an article in itself, I'll sum it up in bullet points:
To keep this from becoming an article in itself, I'll sum it up in bullet points:
- Ancient Egypt: The Egyptians traditionally wore simple clothing and did not look after their hair. It was not cut, combed or shaved and was certainly not plucked, as many have since been led to believe. Herodotus described the act of smearing mud all over the body, self-beating and disheveled clothing. Original texts describe these things as well as fasting and women bearing their breasts. The mourning period lasted 72 days. The color of mourning was supposedly yellow, but I can't find a source for this.
- Ancient Greece: Most of the process of mourning was carried out by women on behalf of the men present. Similar to Egyptian custom, they would tear their hair and clothing, scratch their faces, smear themselves with dirt, beat their breasts and wail loudly. Sometimes a "professional" would be hired to do this at a funeral procession. Well born women were only allowed outside of the home in the case of a funeral. Their clothing was usually dark blue, sometimes black, and may have included a veil.
- Ancient Rome: The Western tradition wearing black in periods of mourning began in the Roman Republic where in was worn by both sexes, although dark blue was common. Under the Roman Empire, men wore black and women wore white. Men of all ranks wore a plain, shabby toga pulla, although governing figures only wore unadorned versions of their regular toga while out in public. Women behaved at funerals much the same as Greek women, except they did not wear veils in order to display their disheveled hair. Men wore veils instead. Neither sex cut their hair. Men mourned for a few days but women mourned for a year after the death of a husband or parent. Numa Pompilius passed a law forbidding the mourning of children three and under. Older children were to be mourned for as many months as they were years old, but not exceeding ten months.
- Germanic: Clues from Beowulf tell us that the outward sign of a mourning woman in Anglo-Saxon culture, possibly Germanic culture as a whole, was unbound, disheveled hair. Roman accounts tell of a sorrowful dirge sung at funerals by a female survivor.
- Medieval: Medieval women followed the example of Mary by prayer and dramatic wailing at funerals. Unmarried men and women wore white, while all others wore black. Among French royal ladies, white was the color of deepest mourning.
- 15th-17th centuries: After the Reformation, dramatic displays at funerals were considered immoral. Going by contemporary portraits, both men and women wore black for mourning. Women wore veils while some men wore hoods. In the 1550's, Mary, Queen of Scots donned all white in mourning of King Francis II of France (her first husband), her father-in-law and her mother in one of the last displays of white mourning among French queens.
- 18th century and Regency/Empire: At this time, mourning was no longer considered a privilege of the most wealthy. Mourning jewelry was first used, with lots and lots of it being made in Revolution-era France. Black crape may be worn with white accents. Families were expected to give out tokens of remembrance at funerals, usually small items such as gloves or handkerchiefs. After a certain amount of time, mourners entered "second mourning", in which they could introduce a limited array of colors besides black and white into their wardrobe, usually gray or mauve. Rules for mourning men's dress during the Regency/Empire were similar to Victorian rules.
How long did it last?
It depended on how the deceased was related to you. To mourn a...
Husband: Full mourning for two years, half-mourning for six months. Alternatively, full mourning for 16 months, half-mourning for eight months.
Wife: Mourning for one year, although I don't know how much of that is full mourning.
Parent, step-parent, sibling or grandparent: Full mourning for one year.
Child: Full mourning for three months, half-mourning for three months.
Uncle/Aunt or cousin: Full mourning for two months.
Great uncle/aunt: Full mourning for six weeks.
Husband's relative: As long as they would for their own relatives. The husband did not have to do this for his wives' relatives.
...But duration also depended on where you lived. According to an 1886 issue of Harper's Bazaar (an American magazine), mourning in England was shorter than in the US but it makes no clear distinction between the lengths of full and half-mourning. It only says that an American widow must mourn 16 months while an English widow must mourn only a year, and that Americans mourning a parent/sibling/step-parent/grandparent mourn for a year while Englishmen/women mourn for three months. The most radical difference is in how long a widower must mourn: one year in the US and two in England. The list above is based on American customs in the 1880's.
It depended on how the deceased was related to you. To mourn a...
Husband: Full mourning for two years, half-mourning for six months. Alternatively, full mourning for 16 months, half-mourning for eight months.
Wife: Mourning for one year, although I don't know how much of that is full mourning.
Parent, step-parent, sibling or grandparent: Full mourning for one year.
Child: Full mourning for three months, half-mourning for three months.
Uncle/Aunt or cousin: Full mourning for two months.
Great uncle/aunt: Full mourning for six weeks.
Husband's relative: As long as they would for their own relatives. The husband did not have to do this for his wives' relatives.
...But duration also depended on where you lived. According to an 1886 issue of Harper's Bazaar (an American magazine), mourning in England was shorter than in the US but it makes no clear distinction between the lengths of full and half-mourning. It only says that an American widow must mourn 16 months while an English widow must mourn only a year, and that Americans mourning a parent/sibling/step-parent/grandparent mourn for a year while Englishmen/women mourn for three months. The most radical difference is in how long a widower must mourn: one year in the US and two in England. The list above is based on American customs in the 1880's.
Full mourning vs half-mourning
Full mourning for women: Simple dresses usually made of black paramatta silk or bombazine. Whatever the fabric choice, it had to be cheap and dull. The only adornment allowed on dresses was black crape (not to be confused with crepe) - a tough, scratchy silk that further discouraged use of luxurious fabrics by being impossible to mix with them. No crape if mourning a husband. A simple, veiled bonnet was worn and jewelry had to be rubbed in jet to make it dull. If mourning a husband, the veil was to be worn over the face. If not, the veil was placed at the back of the bonnet.
Full mourning for men: A plain black suit was the standard. Accessories included black hat and armbands, black cravats and gloves. Since black was commonly worn everyday by men, their mourning dress was not much of a change.
Full mourning for children: Children weren't normally expected to mourn, although some did wear all black for a period of time, mostly at funerals, or a black armband over their regular clothes. Children, especially girls and babies, sometimes wore all white with a black armband.
Half-mourning for women: Women were allowed to wear a few more colors during this period but they had to be dark, like navy and dark brown. Further into half-mourning, lighter colors could be introduced. Adornments were allowed, but jewelry and beading still had to be jet. Crape was removed during half-mourning and heavy crape veils were replaced with lighter ones.
Half-mourning for men: I can't find information on this. Since full mourning for men made such limited changes to their clothing, they may have not gone through half-mourning at all in terms of clothing.
Full mourning for women: Simple dresses usually made of black paramatta silk or bombazine. Whatever the fabric choice, it had to be cheap and dull. The only adornment allowed on dresses was black crape (not to be confused with crepe) - a tough, scratchy silk that further discouraged use of luxurious fabrics by being impossible to mix with them. No crape if mourning a husband. A simple, veiled bonnet was worn and jewelry had to be rubbed in jet to make it dull. If mourning a husband, the veil was to be worn over the face. If not, the veil was placed at the back of the bonnet.
Full mourning for men: A plain black suit was the standard. Accessories included black hat and armbands, black cravats and gloves. Since black was commonly worn everyday by men, their mourning dress was not much of a change.
Full mourning for children: Children weren't normally expected to mourn, although some did wear all black for a period of time, mostly at funerals, or a black armband over their regular clothes. Children, especially girls and babies, sometimes wore all white with a black armband.
Half-mourning for women: Women were allowed to wear a few more colors during this period but they had to be dark, like navy and dark brown. Further into half-mourning, lighter colors could be introduced. Adornments were allowed, but jewelry and beading still had to be jet. Crape was removed during half-mourning and heavy crape veils were replaced with lighter ones.
Half-mourning for men: I can't find information on this. Since full mourning for men made such limited changes to their clothing, they may have not gone through half-mourning at all in terms of clothing.
Other mourning rituals
- Handkerchiefs and stationary edged in black
- Lavish funerals: At which guests were expected to wear full mourning dress. This practice was toned down in the UK and its colonies and commonwealths in the 1870's.
- Mourning jewelry: It was common for family members to own necklaces with containers holding pieces of the deceased's hair. The hair was often placed into intricate designs.
- Seclusion from society: Not everybody secluded themselves completely, but going to parties or the theatre was seen as disrespectful to the dead until the half-mourning period.
- Postmortem photos: The deceased would be dressed and posed in a way that made them look alive. If not made to look like they were sleeping, they would be either propped up on a chair or, rarely, held standing with a pole. They were even sometimes posed with living parents or siblings. This practice became rarer as snapshot photography became more common around the turn of the century, making photos not as remarkable as they once were.
- "White funerals" for children: White coffins, decorations and clothing for the body. Guests wore white gloves. All this white symbolized the child's innocence.
Read my article about why all these crazy rules collapsed under their own weight for more information.